Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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