Sry I called you an 8
so explain again why im purple
no
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
