32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
