i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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