She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
