hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize