Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
