yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
