i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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