wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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