I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
