Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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