I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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