I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
