im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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