Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
