Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
