i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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