More tranny stories later!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
