The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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