She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize