I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
