I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
