That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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