So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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