Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
