If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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