i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
