I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
