I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
