you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize