You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
