"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
