operation harelip BJ is a go
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
