I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
