a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
