i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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