come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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