He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
