i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
