So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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