oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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