woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Can I color on your dick again?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
