help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
