Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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