We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
