Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
