you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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