Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
