got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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