I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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