Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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