well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
