I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
