I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
