Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize