It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I think a kid would responsible me up
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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