There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
handjob tips. give me some.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
