In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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