So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize