that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
