i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
