Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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