the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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