she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Drake has all the answers
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
