I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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