how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize