Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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