dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
