I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
