My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
